As I sit here, at 10:30 at night, eating two "organic, frosted toaster pastries"(code name for pop-tart) while washing it down with skim milk glass #2, I wonder where my wheat-free, dairy free diet has gone. It's late, I'm hungry and Laura wants the black bikini. I'm such a good friend.
Anywho......I thought I'd share just what mono lockdown looks like these days. This would be day #7. Here Tanya and I are (in her and Sam's backyard), and pretty much where we were parked the entire day. My ass is burnt-yours? Tanya did get up a bit here and there to change a diaper, get me food or grab the camera because I forgot mine.
The only time I did get up was to pee or get in the water to cool off. After reading that last line, I realized I could have killed two birds with one stone. I'm all about being the efficient lazy person, can't let my OCD skills go to waste in this time of rest. Something to ponder on if they invite me back.....maybe not after that comment.
Anyway, once we got in the water, we decided it'd be fun to wear goggles. The next thing we knew, we were practicing flip turns. We'd do a few, lay on our chairs, get hot and get back in. One of the times I was parked on the chair, Tanya went and got their under-water camera. This is me in the photo below, can't say how good that one turned out. The challenge was to not show crack while doing a flip turn in a bikini that's not real tight. I don't think I did one without my suit coming down. It's also quite difficult to do freestyle without a swim cap. Kind of like swimming with seaweed on your shoulders.
The last day before lockdown, we worked on flip turns at Masters. That was 8 days ago. I thought I'd share my wisdom with Tanya. Here's her butt hitting the wall......she definitely got close enough! Notice that her feet are square on the wall.
And the push off. All I can look at is her hot bod is & how cute her suit is. Who cares that she's 3ft below the surface of the water?
Here's another attempt from me. And by the way, I got my suit at "Swank" on the northside. Ed Hardy. It was a gift to myself in celebration of my new body that will be healthy inside and lumpy on the outside, all in a months time!
We finally roped Sam to get in with us. He showed us a few flip turns but seemed to leave those pictures out when he emailed me these. The only picture he did email was one that I can't put on here because his wife was taking it and it was rather crude. SHOCKER.
So far, I'm loving lockdown and so are my kids. Tomorrow is a whole new day! My ass is kind of burnt. Did I say that already? I guess I'll work on my front-side tomorrow.
I was pleasantly surprised to learn that sweat-bands actually do work, zink-pink lipstick works like sunscreen for your lips, legwarmers can double as shin-guards and when your ass is hanging out of short-shorts, you actually have great range of motion with no chaffing! Who knew?
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