I didn't die

Today I ran my first 5k since February.  I am finally back and running!  Considering my current state of fitness with my cross country coach this week, we decided it'd be better for me to run a random, local 5k before doing a team race.  And today was the day.

Let me start by saying, it's really nice to be racing again.  Regardless of how much fitness and speed I've lost or how much work is ahead of me, I loved getting up this morning, knowing there was a race on the docket. Racing is my passion and it brings me a tremendous amount of satisfaction and motivation, in all aspects of my life.  And I've missed having the physical ability to go out and just run...so much so, that I haven't really felt like myself in these past months.  I am incredibly grateful that I got to go give it what I had today, and especially excited to say, my knee felt PERFECT!!

There's not much to say about a 5k, other than, "ouch".  Because this was my first race in a while, I decided that although I was going to wear my watch, I was not going to look at my time or heart rate and just go on feel.  This was a great idea, although it's particularly sad when you come around for your second lap, thinking it's time to finish.  I came around the corner looking towards the finish line and saw the clock. I quickly realized, no matter how convinced I was that I had only one working lung and was seeing the light of God calling me home,  I hadn't run a 13 minute 5k.  So, I headed out on my third and final lap a bit discouraged and a touch slower.  There's always an upside though...I could have come screaming through the finish line, not looking at the clock--throwing my hands in the air screaming "ya baby!!".  I like to point out that things could always be worse.  Yes, I am grateful for these little things.

Now, I'll talk about my time.  Well folks, I ran this cross country course in a whopping 22:58 today.  Yes, that's right.  The fun little detail about this particular pace (7:23/mi) is that I actually ran my last half marathon (on a hilly course) at a pace of 7:22/mile, one year ago, after my Lupus diagnosis.  Shelby tells me I should not, and cannot, compare where I was then, to where I am now.  She's little, but she's wise, and she knows some things about me...well, maybe a lot of things. So, I'm listening.

There it is in print.  My baseline, my starting point.  I am grateful for a healthy, working body that allows me to run pain free.  I've been patient but now it's time.  And what I'll focus on, is that it only gets better from here.  At this point, all I've got is a working body and a motivated mind. The slate has been wiped clean and I've got some goals, not based on the past but based on what I want in the future.  And I have no doubt that I'll get there.  It's just going to take some time, hard work and a heaping dose of patience.  Game on.